Interracial Relationships - a personal view

I love seeing 2 people of different races being together. Just watching them smile and enjoy each other’s company is something that never fails to bring a smile to my face, and at times you can just tell from the person’s eyes and facial expression that they really appreciate and value the other person. I enjoy watching and often applaud movies which focus on inter-racial relationships. Though I’ve yet to see Sepet, I’m sure it’s a movie that I will be able to truly relate.

I guess the main reason why I’m so for interracial relationships is because I believe that a person’s creed, race and religion should not be the basis for falling in love with somebody. When you love someone, you love the person because of who the person is, and not anything else. Of course I’m not saying that it’s wrong to make an attribute list of what your potential significant other must have, even if it has to do with religion or race. I know some friends who have parents who forbid them to be in a relationship with anyone else apart from their own race. Do I think it’s wrong? No, that’s just human preferences. But I think when you do that, you’re just limiting yourself. Love was not meant to be confined by rules. Love is a universal theme and it requires no rules and regulations. That’s the beauty of love. So by narrowing your search based on religion or race, at times, you’ll probably find it more difficult finding the "right" person.

In the past, in all my relationships, I’ve been with someone of a different background, culture and race. My first one was with a Canadian Caucasian and my second one was with a Malaysian Chinese. Yes I know; two distinct races from my own, but to be honest, their religion or background didn’t really bother me. The major reasons why it never worked out with them was because I found that we were on a different wavelength. However I didn’t immediately say break off with them just because of differences in wavelength. I gave it a shot and as time went by, I found it to be more difficult for me. It also didn’t help the fact that both of my exes were from totally different fields of area, and both had interests in areas that I wasn’t really into. For me I look at the person’s heart as well as the person’s personality traits. I really don’t mind being with a person from a different race or background so long as she has kindness in her and is intellectual and yet understanding and willing to accept my religion and background.

Being in an interracial relationship can be a tough one. It’s not an easy path, believe me. Patience, understanding, tolerance, openness, trust and communication are heavily needed for an interracial relationship to work. You have to learn to accept and respect the other person’s culture and be willing to learn about their cultural backgrounds. Sounds easy in writing, but when you’re actually in a relationship, it’s not as easy as it looks. My ex was a Buddhist and yet we respected each other’s culture and backgrounds.

You also have to deal with your parents if they are against it. I tried convincing my mum about my choice in the past and it wasn’t easy. And while it’s common to see in movies that parents’ approval is not needed for 2 people to be in love, believe me it is necessary. I personally believe that if you’re parents are strongly against it, it’s just going to make life more difficult for you in the future.

I think most people are afraid to be in an interracial relationship simply because of the complications that will arise. While I do concur with that notion, I believe that nothing is impossible. As long as you love and care the person deeply, and you are willing to try something different by accepting her differences, what’s there to stop you? For me I rather be with someone of a different race and background that I can truly enjoy being with rather with someone from a similar background as mine but I find it hard to relate and share my passion with. I find being in an inter-racial relationship to be something of a challenge. Am I going to allow myself to be influenced by society or am I going to defeat the odds and prove the critics wrong?

Most people claim that they’re open to diversity and they accept everyone etc… but I know some people who actually cringe when they hear that someone they know is with a person of a different race. I mean some parents think it's alright for their children to have friends from different races but it's not alright to date or be with someone from a different race! They think it’s not normal.

In some ways I can relate to the famous poem “The Road Less Traveled” by Robert Frost. I’ve always valued diversity and I’ve always been open to different cultures and backgrounds, despite knowing the challenges I will face. I’ll be honest here, being in an interracial relationship can be a scary thought, as it can be insecure and fragile. But if the 2 individuals are matured (there is strong commitment) and are very understanding to one another’s personal needs and differences, and they really care for each other…there’s honestly nothing to be worried about. If you’re worrying about your kids…well that will be another challenge you will have to face…but I guess that if you have an understanding partner…it won’t be that difficult to sort out this issue.

As a final thought, love a person because of who she/he is, not what she/he is.