Heartdoestalk.blogspot.com is officially closed

if you're still reading this page, please note that I have moved to www.centerpide.net If you're linked to my page, please update your blog roll...be fresh...do the right thing...visit www.centerpide.net (okay that was sooo cliche!!)

lol

cheers
prashanth

It's time to move....

hey everyone, this will be my last post over here: I've decided to move over to Word Press for good. So I'll need all of you to update your links, cuz my new address will now be www.centerpide.net - I won't be blogging for the next 1-2 days as I need to work on installing the plugins needed and I need to set up the comment system etc... so yeah I will be busy for abit.

Anyway please don't forget to update your links!!


god bless and have a good day!

Interracial Relationships - a personal view

I love seeing 2 people of different races being together. Just watching them smile and enjoy each other’s company is something that never fails to bring a smile to my face, and at times you can just tell from the person’s eyes and facial expression that they really appreciate and value the other person. I enjoy watching and often applaud movies which focus on inter-racial relationships. Though I’ve yet to see Sepet, I’m sure it’s a movie that I will be able to truly relate.

I guess the main reason why I’m so for interracial relationships is because I believe that a person’s creed, race and religion should not be the basis for falling in love with somebody. When you love someone, you love the person because of who the person is, and not anything else. Of course I’m not saying that it’s wrong to make an attribute list of what your potential significant other must have, even if it has to do with religion or race. I know some friends who have parents who forbid them to be in a relationship with anyone else apart from their own race. Do I think it’s wrong? No, that’s just human preferences. But I think when you do that, you’re just limiting yourself. Love was not meant to be confined by rules. Love is a universal theme and it requires no rules and regulations. That’s the beauty of love. So by narrowing your search based on religion or race, at times, you’ll probably find it more difficult finding the "right" person.

In the past, in all my relationships, I’ve been with someone of a different background, culture and race. My first one was with a Canadian Caucasian and my second one was with a Malaysian Chinese. Yes I know; two distinct races from my own, but to be honest, their religion or background didn’t really bother me. The major reasons why it never worked out with them was because I found that we were on a different wavelength. However I didn’t immediately say break off with them just because of differences in wavelength. I gave it a shot and as time went by, I found it to be more difficult for me. It also didn’t help the fact that both of my exes were from totally different fields of area, and both had interests in areas that I wasn’t really into. For me I look at the person’s heart as well as the person’s personality traits. I really don’t mind being with a person from a different race or background so long as she has kindness in her and is intellectual and yet understanding and willing to accept my religion and background.

Being in an interracial relationship can be a tough one. It’s not an easy path, believe me. Patience, understanding, tolerance, openness, trust and communication are heavily needed for an interracial relationship to work. You have to learn to accept and respect the other person’s culture and be willing to learn about their cultural backgrounds. Sounds easy in writing, but when you’re actually in a relationship, it’s not as easy as it looks. My ex was a Buddhist and yet we respected each other’s culture and backgrounds.

You also have to deal with your parents if they are against it. I tried convincing my mum about my choice in the past and it wasn’t easy. And while it’s common to see in movies that parents’ approval is not needed for 2 people to be in love, believe me it is necessary. I personally believe that if you’re parents are strongly against it, it’s just going to make life more difficult for you in the future.

I think most people are afraid to be in an interracial relationship simply because of the complications that will arise. While I do concur with that notion, I believe that nothing is impossible. As long as you love and care the person deeply, and you are willing to try something different by accepting her differences, what’s there to stop you? For me I rather be with someone of a different race and background that I can truly enjoy being with rather with someone from a similar background as mine but I find it hard to relate and share my passion with. I find being in an inter-racial relationship to be something of a challenge. Am I going to allow myself to be influenced by society or am I going to defeat the odds and prove the critics wrong?

Most people claim that they’re open to diversity and they accept everyone etc… but I know some people who actually cringe when they hear that someone they know is with a person of a different race. I mean some parents think it's alright for their children to have friends from different races but it's not alright to date or be with someone from a different race! They think it’s not normal.

In some ways I can relate to the famous poem “The Road Less Traveled” by Robert Frost. I’ve always valued diversity and I’ve always been open to different cultures and backgrounds, despite knowing the challenges I will face. I’ll be honest here, being in an interracial relationship can be a scary thought, as it can be insecure and fragile. But if the 2 individuals are matured (there is strong commitment) and are very understanding to one another’s personal needs and differences, and they really care for each other…there’s honestly nothing to be worried about. If you’re worrying about your kids…well that will be another challenge you will have to face…but I guess that if you have an understanding partner…it won’t be that difficult to sort out this issue.

As a final thought, love a person because of who she/he is, not what she/he is.

The little quirky differences between here and home

side note : just to let you guys know, my exam went really well today!! Thank you for all your wishes and support! :)

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“What would you like on your sub?” the person working at the Subway counter was asking me the other day when I decided to get a sandwich for lunch.

“I’ll have lettuce, onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers and pickles, and with some mayonnaise please” I replied

“Is that for here or to go?”

“To go…oh and I’ll also have a pop”.

What the heck does a green pepper, “for here or to go” and “pop” actually mean?

Well my friends, WELCOME TO CANADA. You see over here, not only are most things different from home; even the terms used are different to some extent. For instance while the common foolscap paper back at home has 2 ring holes, over here it’s 3. And you wouldn’t be able to get a 2 ring binder because every binder or folder has 3 rings!!

Apart from that, the bus system here is also different. It actually has a time schedule!! I actually got a shock when I first heard about this, cuz how on earth can a bus have a schedule when it is subjected to traffic? But amazingly they do!!And this helps so much when you need to make plans to visit any place, and the best part is the buses are always punctual and on-time (despite regular traffic and stuff). It’s amazing! Now this is something that the Malaysian transport ministry should seriously look into. Having fixed schedules! The problem with back at home is that bus drivers love to take “frequent breaks” thus delaying everyone else on the bus.

The food system here too is different. Breakfast usually is a grand meal with bacon (strips of pork meat) and eggs, and along with bagels. Yes bagels are a huge breakfast item over here. For those of you who do not know what a bagel is, imagine a doughnut that is split by the side. It’s not as soft and sugary as a doughnut though. Bagels are usually used as a substitute for bread, but it is common. Lunch however is quick and fast, and lunch starts at 11.30 till about 1.00 pm. Supper (aka dinner) is at 6 however. This is because of the light lunch the person has had, so by the evening, it’s time for another large meal. Supper can also even be at 5.30 at times. I remember my Canadian friends at residence used to have supper at around 5.30ish!

Oh and for tomato sauce, it’s actually known as ketchup over here. Even in the labels although some might have a tomato picture, it’s still ketchup! Say tomato sauce in a restaurant and the waiter will give you a “hah?” look! Even in the best possible canadian accent, he still won't get you. And chili sauce won't work either. Learn to use this phrase "hot sauce" yeap that's the equivalent for your chili sauce here!

One of my classic stories whenever I talk to people my first experiences over here was the “for here or to go?” story. You see back at home, people usually say having here or takeaway, and all my life I have been used to that phrase. Little did I know that it meant the same thing with “for here or to go” When the cashier at a fast food restaurant at Niagara Falls asked me “is it for here or to go sir?” my reflex response was “Go where?” Then later I was told by my uncle that to go means “takeaway”.

Now open a separate window and go do an image search on capsicum. Now do another search on green peppers. Notice anything different? It’s the same thing, but Canadians don’t actually call them capsicum, rather green pepper is the “correct way” to identify the vegetable. Try asking someone here whether they’ve tried a capsicum and be prepared to get the “hah?” look.

Americans call it soda, Malaysians call it soft drink, and the Canadians call it pop. This is another interesting difference between home and here. While we are used to the notion of soft drink implying coke, Pepsi or a sprite, over here those drinks are known as pops. So, If you're in a store and you want to buy a pepsi, chances are you'll have to go to the "pop aisle" or the "pop area" to get it. It was hilarious when I heard it for the first time here. Who the heck says pop for a drink? But one think I have to admit though, the variety of pop available over here is waay more than back home....there are so many different brands,sizes, packs, etc...

Finally we look at the money system. While Malaysians are used to seeing 20 cent and 50 cent coins, believe it or not, Canada doesn’t have them. Instead the “nickel (5 cents), dime (10 cents) and quarter (25 cents)” system is used here. And to make a phone call, a dime wont be enough…the minimum amount is a quarter! And while we don’t have this, Canadians have a 2 dollar-value coin, also known as a toonie; ( refer to pic) and you don’t have to be a genius to know what a 1-dollar coin is called! – That’s right a loonie!

Well I guess it’s these little things and quirks that makes a country unique and different from the others… and that is why it actually takes time for people to learn and adapt to a new country. Do drop me a comment if you wanna asked me something from home that is of “equivalent” to over here. Hehe I’ll be happy to answer them as best as I can, and also to those living overseas, do you find anything quirky of that is different from back at home? Do share your stories and thoughts.

Well there you go, you can proudly say you've learnt something new today. Now go impress your friends with you new found knowledge...

oh and by the way...a sub is a type of a sandwich. Subs come in 2 sizes, 6 inch and a foot long. The one on the picture below is a 6 inch one I belive...

I will be off for abit...

I will not be blogging for the next 2 days due to my exam. My exam is on saturday, so I'd like to take some time off from blogging to thorougly concerntrate on it... just to make up for my absense, I've done this online dating proflie test courtesy of Cynical Idealistic Eyes (thanks btw!) for your amusement... I guess from this test, it'll allow you to get a better picture of my personality... :)

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Outgoing - You can liven up any party. You've got a way with people and have little difficulty charming your dates.

Your date match profile: Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw her out of her shell and get to know what she is all about. Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Big-Hearted 3. Outgoing 4. Religious 5. Practical 6. Sensual 7. Adventurous 8. Wealthy/Ambitious 9. Intellectual 10. Athletic

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Practical 2. Shy 3. Intellectual 4. Religious 5. Big-Hearted 6. Conservative 7. Traditional 8. Athletic 9. Adventurous 10. Sensual

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

The deteriorating quality of English among bloggers

Lately I’ve been surfing through a couple of local web blogs and I’ve noticed something… the quality of English in these blogs is poor. Now I’m not stereotyping or anything, but at least 6 out 10 blogs I visit have poor to medicore English standards. I’m trying to find out the reasons behind this, and I've come up with a few possible explainations.

While some people may blame the education system for the lack of the quality of English being taught in schools, I personally think it lies more with society. You see I kinda get the feeling that Malaysians feel to talk Singlish and Manglish is the norm. If anyone tries to talk differently, they will be viewed as an outcast and will be stigmatized and be ridiculed. (I know this because this happened to me a few times when I went back last summer). And because society doesn’t try to correct itself…we become complacent and just continue speaking like this. Heck I even know some Malaysians in my university who speak Manglish with their caucasian peers! In fact I once remember a Malaysian giving a class presentation in one of my courses and he was talking in a pure 100% Manglish way. It was jarring to the ear because it wasn't proper English at all. I still remember he was trying to stress a point and he kept on saying “aiyah how can, I tell you like that cannot wan!!”

Even though they can’t speak fluently, I've noticed the Chinese students who come from China do at least try to speak proper English. Their tenses may be messed up, and it’s sometimes difficult to understand the words or ideas they’re trying to convey, but at least it’s much better than Manglish!

This goes back to my earlier point; I feel that Malaysians have learnt to accept Manglish to be their “English”. No one bothers to correct, and if anyone does, they’ll be ridiculed and be mocked. Most parents also don’t really bother to teach their kids to speak properly. I guess their common argument is “aiyah nevermind lah, as long as he can talk and can write, that’s enough lah!”

Because of all this, bloggers have started using Manglish in their web blogs and sites like KennySia’s Benglish further encourages the young to speak more deteriorating English; and I’m not looking for spelling errors or anything, rather I’m looking at their sentence structures and tenses and at times it can be really deplorable and poor and the worst part is, there is no one to correct them about these things. Other bloggser will in fact encourage and comment in a Manglish way by praising the blogger’s entry post! As a result the youths today especially those who aren’t given the opportunity to study abroad will never learn to speak English the proper way.

Yes many people may think that this is all just a joke and it’s all just for laughs. Afterall isn't Phua Chu Kang's way of talking hillarious? But it’s inevitable and it goes beyond laughing matter. We start to accept that this is the proper way of talking! The more we become complacent about our English standards, the more deteriorating our English will be. I remember a couple of years ago the Star Newspaper launched a campaign “Let’s speak proper English” to get people to speak and learn the proper way of speaking good English.

Perhaps what we really need is for society to come with terms and accept that Manglish is not English and that is not the proper way to speak.

Now I’m not saying we should follow the western way of speaking. Even though it’s their mother tongue and so on, we need not put on phoney British or American accents just to speak English “the right way”. I know of a malaysian who returned from the states just after barely 8 months of being there and he began to speak with a funny accent that everyone knew he was just faking it! In fact, I think putting on a phoney accent when speaking is even cheaper than talking Manglish!

We can still be proud Malaysians by speaking English PROPERLY; and how do we do that? Well for starters by not mixing English with other languages or adding unnecessary lahs or wans or mehs. You may think it’s impossible, but trust me anything is possible if you want to learn and are willing to put in the effort. When I came here, I made an effort to avoid using those unnecessary words, and after sometime I got used to it. It’s tough though I have to admit, being in a society where everyone around you speaks Manglish, but let them be that way as you can always make a conscious effort to speak properly. Apart from that, another way to speak properly is by correcting your peers whenever they use the unnecessary Malaysian phrases and vice versa. By correcting them you are making both yourself and the other person aware of the improper way that the person is speaking and vice versa, and with time and practice, you will eventually learn to speak properly.

It’s a long ambition and goal I do realize, and some of you may think it’s not feasible, but I believe people can change and we have the capacity to learn new things…the question is do we want to and is it worth doing it?

Well what do you think about this? Do you think Malaysians can and will actually learn to speak good proper English in the near future?

Additional tags related to this topic:

English
National Language vs. English Language

Woman drugs fiance who wanted too much sex

And you thought people were crazy in the US:

Courtesy of the star

Am I amused, astonished or shock by this? Well to be honest with you, I'm neither of them. As we move on in this age, people are getting wierder by the day and doing more irrational things just to solve or stop a problem...

But seriously this is probably the first time I'm actually hearing something like this. I mean normally if a partner becomes very persuasive, the other partner will just give in... and since this couple was already engaged...you'd expect them to be more understanding of each other's needs. But for her to go to the extent of drugging him to "slow him down" makes you wonder what the heck is going on in the bedroom...

My question however is this - Is too much sex bad? What do you think?

Some updates on me....

well I realized over the past few days I have been posting about issues and not really talking so much about what's been going on with me, so for those curious readers out there, here's what I've been upto lately:

I completed my volunteer internship for the summer
For those of you who don't know, I was voluntering as a HR assistant for a local non profit organization here. This whole internship is part of a program that is run by the university. Well Wedensday was the final evaluation day, and here's what my boss wrote about me:

" Overall Prashanth was consistant in his work and exhibited enthusiasm towards assigned task. He approached each assignment with a positive and optimistic attittude and this was reflected in the end product"

Performance Rating - Exceptional

This is what you get when you show dedication and commitment to your work :)

Studying for my statistics final exam

Yeap, because I only have one final paper to write this term, (the rest were all either take home finals or optional finals) so I've been pretty much spending all my time in the library working on statisitcs

Searching and adding new features for my blog

Lately this is what I've been doing during my break time from studying or during my "de-stressing" time. I'm looking at new templates and other wicked features to add to my blog in the near future

Listening to Craig Chaquico

The guy is just amazing, he's an instrumental guitarist and he plays some really wonderful tunes. I will post more about this talented yet not-so-famous musician later on.

Well pretty much that's all I've been busy with over the last couple of days.

Studying Abroad - An experience of a lifetime?

For most students (late teens and young adults), it is at this age that we learn many things about life. Our experiences helps mould and shape our thinking. These experience can come in many ways, from friendships, to relationships to even just making decisions in life itself. For me, one of the biggest life-changing experience I've ever had is being given the opportunity to complete my tertiary education abroad.

Like some of you, growing up, I was never exposed on many things in my teen life as my parents often shielded me. After I completed my high school education, I was all set for form 6 - I wanted to be a doctor. I did well in my science courses and I was on the right path. But suddenly I changed my mind. I began making friends with people over in the states and Canada on the internet and I often wondered what life was in those parts of the world. I will admit the media too did influence me. And so I made the decision to study abroad. I couldn't study medicine abroad because it was waaaay too expensive and costly to do so. (I'm not THAT lucky) Nevertheless my parents supported my decision and now it's been 2 years since I've been here... and I can say...it's become an experience of a lifetime for me. I've been exposed and I've seen both sides of the world now.... and my 2 years here is not something of a holiday trip. Most people I've noticed, that go on a vacation to some foreign land for a couple of weeks think they've seen it all and they think that the country is a wonderful place to live etc..

Let me tell you one thing, going on a vacation to a country and living in a country are 2 distinctly different scenarios. Touring a country allows you to only see the good site most of the time. However when you live in a country, you're exposed to the realities of life... vacation period is over and you start living on your own in a real but foreign land.

Scary thought? Not really if you have the right mind and the right attitude. Most foreign people I notice at my university cling to their own kind, they only mix when it involves group activity. Other than that, that's about it. So you'll see the Chinese with the Chinese and the Indians with the Indians. I sometimes wonder, why on earth did they even come here? Just being in a foreign country alone doesn't mean you'll get exposed and it wont fully develop your ability to think beyond your cultural boundries. When you're with your own kind, the exposure is limited...and you don't learn much. To be exposed is to mingle with all sorts of people and to try new things without prejudgment and to make your own conclusions about these experiences. This is how a person becomes more knowledgeable and more "culturally-experienced".

I went to Canada, not because I had friends who will be going with me. In fact no one from my college was transfering to Canada. They were all heading to the states (blek :P ). Yes I do have some relatives here, but they live far away from the uni I was going to attend. And yet I still decided to go. Was I scared during my first 2 weeks there? hell yeah, I mean I saw all sorts of people, the druggies, the goths, the jocks... where would I fit I thought? But I eventually met this Canadian guy and till today we're the best of friends. I did meet other Canadians too and they've all been amazing. They taught me alot of things about this country, and I'm not talking about the common stuff. I mean I learnt really unique things about food and history, the social culture and how the government system works over here. Heck I even got my first real part-time job here and I've already voluntered for 2 canadian organizations over the past year itself!! I've even gone out with girls over here!

Of course the common defensive argument I get when I make comments about students who stick to their own kind is "oh maybe they feel more comfortable with their own people". While that argument does hold true, I personally believe it defeats the purpose of going abroad simply because the more you hang out with your own kind, the more ignorant you become of your surrounding environment, and that's a fact. Another common argument I get is "oh we're not used to the environment and way of life here" I find this argument to be amusing because if you aren't used to this environment, why the heck did you even come here?

I did my homework before coming here. I remember spending time studying about Canada's geography and learning about various major cities. I read about the weather conditions. I remember reading up on my professors' profiles on the university website in advance just to give myself a headstart. I did everything possible to gain as much information as I could about the place I was going to stay for the next 2-3 years of my life. I sometimes wonder whether the others even do that. And if you don't do your homework, that's okay. At least learn while you're here then! But that's not really the case. I'm sure there are some foreign students over here who have no idea about what Remembrance Day is all about or which Canadian teams are in the NHL or even what Lacrosse actually is and that kinda pisses me off...but then again I shouldn't be expecting much.

I'm not trying to brag here over here....but rather I'm trying to make a point. You see going abroad is an experience of a lifetime... ONLY IF you make the best use of it. If you think you're gonna get foreign exposure by just going for classes on foreign soil or by visiting other parts of the country with your own people, you're so wrong. Being exposed is more than just that...it's about being part of a society, not just a tourist or a guest visitor...and at the end of the day, that's what makes you a more refined, intellectual and polished person. And it is these things that will distinguish you from the rest.

And you thought it only happens in emails...

SPAM!! that's right I'm getting these sensless spam comments on my comments page...argh it's annoying and very irritating... take a look for yourself...

Sigh, I guess it's my mistake since I actually set the permission level for comment posts to annynomous....and the reason behind this is so that people without a blogger account can also add their comments. Lol in a way I feel violated lol!! hehe anyway looks like I'm not the only one with this problem:

Justin's Site

Well what should I do about it? any suggestions?
HELP ME!!

Working in groups can be a real pain

I’m sure during our education years, in some way we were required to be assigned to work in groups for some of our courses, whether it’s to complete a project, do a presentation, work on a class play, or even just write a term report. Irregardless of the activity, you still had to meet with others and work with them. For me personally, I’ve worked with groups more than a dozen times already…and the more I keep working in groups, the more I’m starting to hate it. Don’t get me wrong, there are many positive sides to working in a group and I love working with people. It builds your interpersonal and communication skills and it allows you to meet and get to know new people. But if you’re like me and if you’ve worked with groups almost half of your entire education life, you know how frustrating it can get at times…

Well before I start of my rambling, I should first tell you about what I expect from myself and others when I’m involved in a group project. First of all I’m competitive, I set high standards and I “expect” everyone in the group to conform. I always give my fullest effort to any group work and I expect everyone else to pull their weight.

I hate social loafers (people who just tag along and do nothing) and I hate last minute work. Even though the person does a good job, I hate having to bear the pressure of people leaving their work till the last minute. It gives me no time to actually critique the work and go over it. So while it may be a good work, if only the person hands his/her stuff a few days before the due date, I believe the work can be better.

I’m also weary of people who don’t show up for meetings on time and who constantly needs the group’s help to complete his or her task. For me, anyone who exhibits that tells me indirectly that he/she is irresponsible and lacks initiative. I’m not the kind of person who doesn’t like to help people, in fact when a group member shows some initiative, even though he or she may not be a bright student, I’m more than ever willing to help the person out in his/her stuff.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised if my group members think that I’m an obsessed person with the project. They feel I worry too much and work too hard on it. But the reason behind this is because I’m worried that my group members won’t do a good job. It’s not like I don’t trust them but just by judging from a person’s character and attitude towards studies in general, it allows me to see how much effort a person will put in the group. I wish I could be an easy going person, but I know if I slack and I don’t put pressure on the group, nothing will ever get done , and since I’m the group leader for most of my projects, it is my primary responsibility to see that we do an excellent job. And no, I’m not a dictator, I allow my group members to have their own discretion and opinion, so long as the work is well done.

Sadly not many people see it that way. I always notice that in the beginning of the course, everyone will be pumped up to do really well, but when it comes to crunch time, I often get mediocre contribution from them – the reason? “Oh I have another project due” or “I have a busy schedule and I have a job as well” Excuses – excuses – excuses, I’m sick and tired of people giving me excuses when it comes to work. And when I get upset or angry about it, people will start thinking that I’m too uptight or have a “what does he expect from us?” kinda attitude.

And because it’s a group project, if people don’t have the same drive and motivation as you, you have two options – either try to work on your group member’s work to make it look good (cuz they really think that it’s sufficient) or you can just say “to hell with it” and end up with an average grade.

I tend to do the former part most of the time, since I’m group leader. I guess it is my “responsibility” to see to everyone’s work…but you know what, I kinda wish at times, people just do a really good job so that instead of me having to edit every damn thing. I don’t like giving false praises just to make my group members feel better or just to make them like me, but I will give credit where it’s due.

I just don’t get it. I mean how are these people going to survive when they enter the working world? I guess maybe when it comes to working for someone, they will start bucking up and really put a lot of effort, since the cost of losing one’s job is much higher than the cost of losing a couple of marks or getting an average mark. But I don’t think having that sort of mentality is fair to the others. I mean just because you don’t deem grades to be important to you doesn’t give you the right to put others in jeopardy.

Because of this, I’ve decided for my final semester, I’m going to avoid courses that require group work. I rather be fully accountable for my own work than having to depend my grades based other people’s effort. I rather do the whole thing on my own. And I notice a correlation here – I tend to get higher grades for courses which don’t involve group work.

I guess as a final thought this is how I truly feel about working in groups – if you want a good grade, work with me, but be prepared to give your very best effort and I understand that no one can be pefect, but it's not wrong to put in the energy and effort to be a perfectionist. As my mum used to tell me "whatever you do, do it properly...otherwise don't do it"

The frustration with girls...

Author's note:
I don’t mean to sound like a sexist or anything; this post is purely based on my experience and feelings

Ever wondered why girls can be so darn confusing at times? I'm not saying that they're a menace or a big pain, (I'm not a male chauvinist; in fact I have the utmost respect for people of the opposite sex, especially the intellectual ones!). But seriously sometimes, they just piss you off for senseless reasons. It's not so much the things they say to you, but rather I find their actions to be confusing and often times hurting...and the worst part is, they don't realize that they're hurting you.

As a gentleman, the proper behaviour you are supposed to display is understanding and patience. But seriously, there is only so much patience and tolerance a person can take. Now those who know me pretty well know I'm an impatient fellow by nature, and my past relationships with people have gone downhill due to my impatient nature. I always want to bury the hatchet quickly with people and as a result and at times, it backfires. Anyway as they say, you learn as you grow older and I have learnt to be more understanding and patient, but seriously, when a person crosses the line, I think its okay to say "enough is enough!"

But you know what's really screwed up when you start thinking this way? You start doubting yourself! *personal thought: or is it just because I'm a Libran, so i'm indecisive in nature?

What I mean here is that after thinking over it for sometime, you start to feel that you may have over-reacted to the situation and this kinda prompts you to think that you should be more understanding and evaluate the situation more rationally. But that's the core essence with human emotions, it isn’t always rational. If we were to be rational with our feelings, there would be no passion and we wouldn't feel hurt and neglegeted.

I have been very patient and understanding with this person. But yet, as the days are going by, I kinda get the feeling that I almost mean nothing to her ; it's almost like she's kinda gotten bored of me. The saddest part is we used to be really good friends, and it's not like we've had a major dispute or anything...yet her attitude has just suddenly changed...and she hasn't even bothered to be clear and face me about it.

The thing is I really don't mind if people want to stay away from me and hang out less with me, even if the explanation is irrational I can take it, but when you start playing the cold-treatment game, it just shows me how much you value friendship. It shows me how much I mean to you. One of the most painful things I can't take from a person is ignorance. When a person becomes ignorant toward me, my first natural instinct would be to break ties with the person. I feel that he or she isn't worth being friends with. I just can't stand people who I treat so well and with great care and respect become a cold stone toward me. It's just like a stab to the heart...and it hurts like hell.

And when you play that game, probably you will not realize how much pain you're putting on the other person who considers you to be his or hers closest friends. Rather than thinking that you're a selfish and self-centered person, usually the person will initially think that it's probably something that he or she has done to make you piss with him/her.

But then, when the treatment goes on for sometime, he/she will start to question the friendship bond that the 2 of you have. And if it goes on, and you don't say a word and continue being ignorant, don't be surprised if your friend suddenly explodes and wants to end the friendship...